UNEXPLAINED INFERTILITY, EXPLAINED
Finding Answers with Restorative Reproductive Medicine (RRM)
Patients Erica and John found Reply following years of unexplained infertility and no results working with other specialists—“we just didn’t know there was anything else out there.” They followed the typical pattern of multiple underlying factors that could be identified and treated. With comprehensive RRM care they were able to conceive and gave birth to a healthy, beautiful baby girl. They emphasize that “if you can figure out ‘why,’ that’s half the battle.” Their testimonial below was recorded, transcribed, and edited for length.
We were working with an ART (assisted reproductive technology) clinic because we didn't know otherwise, we weren't aware that there were other options. We had been with an IVF clinic for 3 years and had no success, but we didn't do IVF. We just did just some light optimization, did some blood work and a couple of different little things, and then the biggest thing we ever did was a couple of rounds of IUI, but we were very uncomfortable with that idea. We just didn't know that there was anything else out there.
We decided to move to North Carolina and one of our friends who knew about our struggle—we have been struggling at that point probably for about four years—gave us a book called Catholic Infertility. In the back of the book, we found someone who used to work with Reply, and it led us to Reply's website and that's what jumpstarted the journey into a whole brand new world that is restorative reproductive medicine.
We had removed plastics from our life. We had really looked into the types of chemicals that we were putting on our bodies. So we were very open to the pillars and hallmarks that is restorative reproductive medicine. By the time we came to Reply, we were just really ready for what they were going to throw at us.
(Erica) I thought I was really aware of what my body was going through, but once I came to Reply, I realized that what I knew was just the tip of the iceberg. I think a lot of people I've talked to who are in this journey don't realize how much more there is to fertility…through the health coaching and the fertility coaching that I got at Reply, I learned so much more about just my health as a woman that I wish more women could receive that kind of education, not from a fertility perspective, but from just a health one.
My husband and I are both very data driven people. So it really appealed to me to have something that I could track on a monthly basis. After a couple of months, I was very surprised at how the data started to reveal things, even to me…there were certain markers of what was going on. When it came time, when I did get pregnant, it was almost as if the data was already telling me that before I had even taken the test and confirmed everything. It was really interesting to see the trends over those 18 months.
I would also add that one of the things that makes Reply such a unique place is that our fertility educator really was very hands-on. During the whole process, every time we connected, she would ask like, hey, do you want to review your chart together? Do you have any questions? One of the things that we discovered, she and I together, was the inflammation caused during a menstrual cycle. I could aggressively lessen the pain that I would go through on a month-to-month basis if the week before my cycle started, I ate at least 3 or 4 servings of Omega-3s. For me, that was a piece of salmon. As long as I did that, I did not experience any menstrual cramping; but the months where I did not have that, I would experience my regular sort of menstrual cramping. So, it was really interesting working with her to kind of figure out what worked for my body and what didn't, and making those discoveries together.
I don't say this lightly, but I just feel like Reply is such a special place because everyone is so invested in restorative, reproductive medicine. [With our health coach], we would talk about what meals we were eating, what are the kinds of minerals and vitamins we should be getting through our food, what are some exercises that we should be doing, how is our sleep, how is our stress? It was a concerted group effort. It was always, “how can we get you closer to your end goal?”
Barbara, our nurse, is just the most amazing person ever. I remember how excited she was when we called to tell her we were pregnant. It was so nice to have her just there as a cheerleader. And I don't think people realize how emotionally taxing this infertility journey can be and to have someone, medical personnel, who is just constantly cheering you on. And telling you that you're doing a good job and to keep at it and don't give up—that was Barbara for us. Really and truly, it was Emily, Lisa, and Barbara that we saw week after week after week for 18 months.
I would say, unlike traditional doctor's visits, Reply took a very diagnostic and data-driven approach with us, which we really appreciated because that's how we work. And that was something that I noticed Reply was very cognizant of, which is “Here are your options, here are the things that we found at the end of the day. This is your choice, your journey. We want you to feel comfortable.”
You're functioning off of a sliver of hope. There's no guarantee, even with assisted reproductive technologies there is no guarantee. There is no promise at the end of "X" number of months that you're going to be able to conceive. And so to be able to see data that backs up the fact that we're placing our hope into this program was really, really reassuring.
We were both very surprised by how affordable this was, and even more so at the end of it, because we got so much out of this program. Reply was a breath of fresh air in that, they wanted to try as many things as we wanted to. So, we felt like we had an equal partner.
Our journey took, from beginning to end, 18 months. Through that, we were able to identify four areas that needed work. And I think a lot of people who are in this journey also misinterpret, misalign, or blame themselves. And oftentimes it's like, “Oh, because I was on birth control,” or because, you know, “I'm being punished for something.” There's a lot of guilt and blame in all of this. And I want to just stress how incredibly freeing it was to work with Reply because we did discover “the why.” We discovered what my body was doing to cause infertility to be a symptom and that's something that Reply taught me. If you can figure out why, that's half the battle.
We were able to identify some issues that, one of them was something that I didn't even realize could be a thing and apparently it's very common. Another thing that we discovered is something that has something to do with my long-term health. Like, it's not just fertility. It was something that, once I addressed it, I actually started feeling better and I had no idea that I had this issue. I just knew that I didn't feel good. Like, I just put up with it or maybe I didn't get enough sleep.
Once we figured out what those things were, the fixing took a lot longer than I anticipated. I think that's a misconception that, you know, oh, you identify what's going on, you start taking medication—everything will be fine. But your body needs time, whether it's reducing inflammation or addressing something that's been ongoing for probably a good part of your life. It takes time. So, it took some time to fix it and optimize it.
The other thing people don't realize too, is like the eggs that you have are dormant until three months (before they’re mature for ovulation) so if you're getting rid of the junk food in your body, you have to look three months ahead. That's another thing that I think I didn't realize until I was working with Reply that these things take some time. I think we probably took a good eight or nine months to get to a place where both my husband and I felt like, okay, we're finally in a place where we are eating well, sleeping well, exercising, and stress is under control. I would like to stress that Reply also doesn’t over medicate you, and of my four conditions, only two of them were under medications.
At our 11-month check in [our clinician Lisa] said, “you know, I'm really concerned that given everything that you're doing and how you're feeling and everything that we have found, that you're still not pregnant yet.” No one had ever said that to me, no provider, no medical professional. And when you're in an infertility journey--I mentioned the isolation--oftentimes you feel like you're the only one rushing. You're the only one trying to get to this finish line and you're doing it alone. And when Lisa said that to me, I felt so heard, and so supported. And I felt like for the first time there was someone else on my side who was just as concerned as I was.
So that jumpstarted two things: they took my data to a national conference and one of the doctors there, who has been in this industry for four decades looked at my data and basically said, “I think she has X.” And so what I was really grateful for was Reply didn't just stay insular. They were willing to admit, “we don't have all the answers, let's go consult other experts.” That is a breath of fresh air to me. As a result of that consult, Lisa said “you know, this would be my recommendation, but we have no way to prove this diagnosis without surgery.” The ball was in my court. Ultimately, I had the surgery, and the surgeon was able to identify and verify things that would not have been found, or addressed, without it. And again, I really appreciated it.
My husband was a part of this journey with me from beginning to end. And I think that because infertility is so isolating and so challenging, you don't often realize the toll it takes on the husband. We always talk about what we women go through, but he was as much grieving the fact that we weren't able to conceive as much as I was. In some ways it was a lot harder for him because it wasn't his body that was experiencing all the issues. It was mine. So, we were very blessed and very grateful. I conceived and our baby is a month old now. It was a lovely birth.
To the friends I currently have who are going through infertility, first of all, I tell them my story and then oftentimes I'll say, there is more to infertility than you can ever know and you're not alone. There are places that can help and which is why I am so glad that Reply is trying to get certified in all 50 states because I have friends all over the country that could use the experience that I had. More than anything, the reason why I'm eager to tell my story and eager to get the word out is because I know that there are millions of people who, if they knew that there was more options, it would be life changing.
So, “hang in there” is what I would say and get a second opinion from someone else who has other tools. I definitely feel that there's a reason why we went through this journey. I can now tell the story and I hope that wherever the story goes, whether it's through this platform or my telling it to friends, and friends telling it to their friends, that people can get help that they need.
I guess I should say this: our baby would not be here if it weren't for Reply. Full stop.
